The matter of the heart.

With the anticipation that I have been feeling over the past few weeks about me turning the big 30...I really couldn't have anticipated any of it.

I feel I'm in a cross road not only professionally but with myself. Lately I have been becoming the person that I have wanted to become but in the way I've been hurting alot of people in the process, people that I love dearly. Have I been acting out due to the fact that they are right or am I tired of being the nice understanding guy? What is known is that Ive changed. It's been almost a battle within myself to choose right, or to nearly just follow my heart. That is where I think lies the problem...the matter of the heart.


Switching topics, I had a great birthday ( April 20th ) and I know many of you celebrated it aswell ;). Had dinner and drinks with the boyfriend and bestie in Weho. It was great to have a day where people from my past where remembring me in a nice way. I just wish that my father would have remembered.

Below you will find some pics of my Bday. Until next time



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Hiking with my babes

Yesterday after a long day at the office, I wanted to hang out with Daniel...usually I work out with him at the gym but admist the loud people, the music and the reps I feel I dont really get to enjoy him as I should. After work we headed to Whittier's Turnball canyon where we did the trail, and what a workout it was. Ive done this trail many times before but never with someone I was dating, it was great to sneak a few kisses here and there and hold his hand while going up. I feel I got to know a diffrent side of him. All in all a great.

Keep on talkin

As many of you all know I havent been updating this baby as much as I should, well atleast I have posted my new Ke$ha mix for ' Blah Blah Blah ' its a tribal and electronica fusion remix of it and as always, comments are welcomed


Ke$ha Mix of ' Blah Blah Blah 'http://www.zshare.net/audio/743959390c36449f/

When did you mother pass? How has the impacted your outlook on life as a whole?

She passed in 2001, and It made me want to make her proud which I still try and fulfill

Ask me anything

My Job.

I've always thought my job was to wake people up. But, it's not enough just to wake people up you've gotta wake people up and give them a direction. You gotta wake people up and give them tools about how to deal with life. You've gotta wake people up and give them solutions...Otherwise, they're gonna fall back asleep again

you make me shine, you make me feel...

Im in a very beautiful time in my life right now, everything just seems to be falling into place and I feel the smile as I wake up in the mornings. I have made it a point that I wouldnt really expose my ' love life ' but I just had to post this picture. Hope you guys are having a great day and I will upload some music Ive been working on.

Freedom

I saw the train comin' for me with the force of a million marching
I felt the eyes of so many, the whispers and shouts about my belief in us
I see the cloaks on the judges, flaws in the judgement, beast in the dungeon that dont scare me And I'll say it on a mountain, say it all in public, hold a press conference to speak about my freedom.

I flew away this morning, what if I ran away and never came back
And all of the fame means nothing, it's all a game and the gladiator just won't win
And I see cloaks on the judges, flaws in the judgement, beasts in the dungeon, don't look scared to me
And I'll say it on a mountain, say it all in public, hold my head high, I'ma speak about my freedom

guyswithphones....

So last night was a bitch weird, so weird in fact that I still cant believe it. I didnt go to my usual gym ( Downey ) because I like to test other gyms and spice up my routines. Since I came from work, I had to use the locker rooms. At first as I slipped off my pants, I noticed a dude close to me holding up his phone, I thought that what he was doing what I enjoy doing.. yes, taking pixs of MYSELF at the gym...never thought he would be taking pictures of ME in my underwear. I thought that I was just acting crazy and that he wasnt, it was until I was talking to my workout buddy that It was fact, that homeboi had taken pixs of me in the locker room. WTF! I cant believe someone had the balls to do that, I dont even raise my eyes to make contact with people as they change, let alone EVER think of doing that to someone's privacy.

Happiness

I have to admit that I had one of the best weekends in recent memory. My nephew Matthew had his baptism and turned 2 yrs old and I was able to bring some special people within my family. I think I'm at a great place in my life where things seem to be falling into place and the pace other things are I really couldn't ask for more. This weekend brought me some clarity on and I'm very happy to see where love will lead me, I've been getting a few emails asking me about my love-life and I have decided to not make it a part of this blog. Believe it or not when I'm dating someone I like to keep it private since alof of my life is all over the place,matters of the heart tend to make me wanna shield that part of me. I will say that I'm happy and loving the smiles.


I have been working on a few new parts of music and soon will be updating the blog with some demos that I have been working on, I am trying to find a new sound since most of my music has been ' club music ' and I find myself more and more time at the gym I have been influenced by alot of Rap and Rock so I've been working on that.

Gym: I am now benching 290 lbs, and I'm happy I only have 10 lbs more to go to reach my 300 lbs goal. I also started boxing on top of kickboxing, and will start taking Jacob ( my nephew ) with me to the ' kiddie gym ' this Saturday for weight lifting class...I love it!!!



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And I feel, like I just got home

Below you will find some songs I have recently messed around with.. hope you enjoy them,
Madonna vs Beyonce and Gaga ( two people that need a vacation, badly )http://www.zshare.net/audio/711237744b11ea60/

Oasis ' Wonderwall '
http://www.zshare.net/audio/71258737f926a4b2/

The wind through my hair...

This weekend I really just laid low, I've been in a funk mood lately where I dont want to be around people. I have been spending time at my usual spot the gym and then jetting off to go hiking. In my solitude I have decided to get back on a motorcycle, besides its been almost a year and a half since my last accident and I think I have finally learned that I need to wear a helmet, at all times. I want to feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins again and having the wind go through my hair as I speed towards the sun.

2009, my year back at the Gym.

One thing I can say with great honesty is that 2009 was the year that I stepped back into to the gym and began to get the body that I have always wanted. As the year came to a close I managed to spend countless hours working out on how my body would work with the routines, and even up to this day Im still learning. I weighed myself on New Years day and came in at 212 lbs ( started at 186 lbs without muscle ) went from a size 15 1/2 dress shirt to a size 17, Small T-shirts to XL large shirts. Im loving where my body is headed and very proud of myself. This pic was taken on January 1st 2010 ( 5:45 p.m ) Whittier Preserve. Even my face seems fuller, now if I can get my butt to get bigger ;-)