Ive begun to look at myself under the microscope and at my ripe ol' age of 29 ( April 20th, baby ) I can finally say that I am free. Although Im well on my way to make myself the person that I am becoming, I still cant help but feel empty inside, I guess you can say that Ive been going through life with a checklist and not with much of the passion, havent really felt passion in a while. for instance, this past weekend : On April 4th, I helped stage a huge LGBT participation in Downtown L.A for Cesar E. Chavez, hundreds of people were there to support the LGBT equality issue and even though it made me feel great to be able to have the support of everyone and to know we are all trying to get togther and be heard ( I still felt alone ), Monday came wjth a press conference regarding the CureCVS campaign that ive also been a part of it, a cause that gained nation-wide attention,still alone. Friday, I got to meet Miss Universe 2009, a moment that I would have wished and been excited about, but nontheless I felt great as the cameras were on me, but off of them I just felt empty, and alone.
These past few days have seen me getting everything Ive been working with but I dont have the love or support from people in my inner circle, Its crazy to say this but I feel so useful when Im at work then when I am home, alone. Dont get me wrong Ive tried to stay home and chil but its almost like I need someone by my side to make me feel that everything will be ok. Maybe, I should take the advice given to me on friday night by Breene,and ' shut the fuck up, buck up and continue to make a name for yourself, people will come and go but you need to run and finish ' true, he also did ask me to take another shot...but maybe this should be my new Mantra, what to do now.
T
No comments:
Post a Comment